For whom the bell tolls...

For whom the bell tolls…

John Donne
Meditation 17
Devotions upon Emergent Occasions

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..."

We must learn to respond to need. To look after each other. What does it mean to talk of God in self-serving ways? “Have you been saved?” It’s nonsense. It means nothing. For as long as any human being is excluded from salvation, we are all short of the beatific vision. Heaven and salvation have nothing to do with me! It is the me which contributes to the idea that I am somehow separated from God, that He is some ancient king on a throne somewhere issuing sentences to punish those who disobey the law.

Salvation is more a melting away of the veil I place before God and truth which reveals that my sense of independence and isolation is a myth. Materially I am separate, individuated and subject to psychology and ego, but spiritually, personally, I am connected to the vast unity of the universe which is Being in itself—God. I am connected to all other beings in a way I can mentally accept or reject, but my beliefs about it mean nothing. Fundamentally, I am connected as long as I am. To be truly separate I would fall immediately into non-being.

“So again Jesus said to them, "Very truly, I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and bandits; but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away-- and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father."(John 10:7-18)

“ I came that they may have life, and have it more abundantly” The law is not a condition of salvation, a prerequisite of sorts. No! It is a response to truth, to love, to reality. Sin is the reaction to the decision for separation. Sin is all that perpetuates the deception that I can exist apart from God. Jesus came and showed us that we are intimately bound to God. He gave himself totally. Then he entered into a new way of being, resurrected life. Original sin is the human impulse to exist in isolation, the illusion that we are apart from God.

The cardinal sins are manifestations of this self-centeredness. Ego (Which is the personal pronoun I in Greek) is enslaved to sin. It operates in an atmosphere of fear that if it gives unto death, it will dissolve. Ego fears death and truth calls for it. Love is such a radical self giving that it sets us free from the bondage of separation. The truth is we are always in relationship to God, whether we reject it or not. As long as I exist, I am in intrinsic unity with all that possesses being. God, and neighbor are in me as I am in them.

The fall was a decision to turn away from unity and God, to the self. The human condition is one that we are subject to material urges and instincts toward self preservation. Yet at the same time, spiritually we are called to give of the self unto death. This conflict is played out in our relations. We fight and kick against a God created by men, all the while connected to being and love in a way that we could never destroy or else we would fall into non-being. Every human, in so far as they exist, exists in grace. Being is love- is grace- is gift- is salvific- is process- is eternal. Sin is what is finite, is ended in the freedom to rescind that decision to be separate, and ended in the realization that we are in the loving arms of a God who cannot be boxed in and used as a weapon against others. We are all in the fold, whether we know it or not.

For whom the bell tolls a poem
(No man is an island) by John Donne

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

God Made Meat

Last night I was discussing my faith with someone who described themselves as a non-believer. After thinking about it, she qualified it, realizing that she did in fact hold to a core belief in the goodness of people. I agree. In response, I described my faith in God as a faith in what is best in people. My faith, as a Christian, is a faith in a man who was the Son of God and one of the persons of the Holy Trinity. It is a faith in the story of God as a human, a God who shares in all our hopes, fears, joys, pains, and tears. My faith is incarnational.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers-- all things have been created through him and for him. (Col. 1:15-16)

The incarnation is a tricky subject. If you go to the theology section of a library or the Christology (Christology: the technical term for discussion of the person of Christ and His theological import) section of a seminary library, you will find some of the most divisive theological tomes on this topic. The New Testament itself is more a record of the development of christological thinking than a definitive statement on it. The first 500 years of Christianity is, in part, one long discussion of who this person Jesus of Nazareth was and what his relationship to God as Father in the Holy Spirit meant.

What does Paul mean when he writes in Colossians that Christ is the image of God? He is most likely drawing on Jewish scriptural accounts of wisdom as the image of God and associating Jesus with God’s wisdom incarnate. The Pauline scholar J.D.G. Dunn suggests that when Paul writes, “in him all things in heaven and on earth were created,” he is placing Christ as the perfection of God’s intention in creation. That in Christ, God’s intentions for creation are realized. The word incarnate means “to be made meat or flesh”.

So I must agree. My faith is in the inherent goodness of people. My friend admitted that this faith in human goodness results in occasionally getting screwed. Of course. We sometimes fall short. In fact, we almost always fall short of the ideal. But perhaps this is what provides the very dynamic of creation. This yearning for the ideal of perfect love spins the planet, fuels the sun and feeds relationships. Christ’s faith was so true, so steadfast that he took it all the way to the cross, and in a place of ultimate abandonment and loneliness-- the pinnacle of getting screwed if you will-- he forgave. Then he surrendered.

Hmmm…

Pakistan! It's Official

It has been a while since my last post. I have been busy! Busy! busy! But I finally received the grant money for my research trip to Pakistan. I purchased my ticket today. I go in March. I would tell you when and where, but I can't for security purposes. Until I feel better about the situation, I will leave it at this.

Tune in though, for over the next few months, I will be sharing my research, insights and ideas with you. During the trip, I hope to update you with photos and journal entries. So you can explore Pakistan with me!

Pray for peace there in the meantime.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God." Matt 5:7

Gimme faith

Gimme faith.

People have told me that I have a lot of faith. I usually thank them and I feel pretty good about myself for a moment and enjoy that somebody sees something in me that I value. It is esteem-able. I like to think that I have something to do with it, and that by exercising my faith I have built up spiritual muscles of some sort. I am just kidding myself.

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" The Lord replied, "If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, "Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you. (Luke 17:5-6)

Faith is a gift. It is a sign of grace working in our lives. It is the very presence of God’s love at work in us. What faith is not, is a commodity we can have more or less of as if it were money or pork-belly futures.

Let me explain…

I often hear people refer to faith in a way that sounds a lot like belief. Belief is belief. Faith is faith. I like to think of faith as what I do because of what I believe. This is not a rigorous theological position, it is just a way I have of thinking about how to live in faith.

My faith involves praying even when I’m not feeling it. It involves receiving the sacraments even when it all seems a silly parody. It involves giving even when I feel like taking. I can only do these things by the power of the Holy Spirit. Because on my own power, I can be a selfish prick more often than I would like.

This brings us to the presence of God’s love again. The Holy Spirit- the third person of the Trinity who seems to get short shrift in a lot of spiritual/theological discussion. The Holy Spirit is God’s intimate presence in out lives. It is the spirit of faith which causes the mulberry tree to obey. Does the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives always result in magic tricks and arboreal relocations? No, because faith wouldn’t spend time attempting to impress with tricks and shows. Faith would command the wealthy to care for the poor. Faith would be busy looking after the widows and orphans, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked.

Much has been made of Mother Theresa’s journals which show in her a tremendous doubt and a persistent experience of the absence of God. The atheists would laugh and point out, “See even this woman who was such an example of faith didn’t experience the presence of your God!”

Ah! But she did what she did because of what she believed, even in the absence of consolation and reward. What great faith she had indeed. Faith the size of a mustard seed.

I pray for faith the size of a mustard seed. Do you?

The Power of Word

The power of word.

Words have power. We have the power to build or to destroy with our words. Our words express our being in a way that no other creation may express. I can sing with joy, or curse with venom. I can build up my neighbor in faith and express love, or I can slander them or bear false witness, making fear real. Scripture begins with an exploration of the power of language:

In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. (Gen. 1: 1-3).

Creation happened through the power of God’s word. He spoke and it was true. The Son of God, as an expression of God’s perfection become human, was Him through whom creation happened. It was in the love of Father and Son that creation happened as an overflow of divine love. In the second person of the Trinity, we have an expression of this eternal and infinite love made flesh in Jesus Christ. We can experience this love as gift by the Holy Spirit, that third Trinitarian person who doesn’t seem to get the attention that Jesus and his Dad do.

God’s divine Word is truly powerful. It is energy and love itself. Our words, however always seem limited and limiting. This is one of the paradoxes of human being. Yet there is a transcendent power to our expression. Our words may live on beyond ourselves. we have the power of expression in media which can outlast our mortal bodies. Music, art, literature, religion: all of these are expressions of human longing for life. Sometimes these expressions seem twisted and darkened, and sometimes they soar to the heights of almost divine beauty.

When we create, we play along with God in a sense. We become instruments of creation. Sometimes it seems we must destroy the old in order to make room for the new. But, this is an illusion, because even in our rejection of something, we are affected by it and it lives on in our refusal to accept it. This is why I am fascinated with atheism. Atheism presupposes a theos (a God) in order to reject it. Human beings are religious by nature. We just have many gods we worship, some more inadequate than others. In the end, all our understandings of God are inadequate. Because if God is truly God, our words can never enclose him. So we live our art by worshiping and serving one another that we might become His hands and feet and heart in the world. Endeavoring to understand one-another that we might begin to understand better that love which died for all of us, not just the ones who agree with us.

So let your words be true. Let them be words of love. “Whoever can love, loves God implicitly.”

Leave a comment and try to guess who said that last line.

Prayer- just do it.

Well it has been a while since I wrote anything here. Over a month. And it has been a month of upheaval and stress: I started a new job, searched for a place to live in New York City (a nightmare), and moved. Thank God for good friends.

I lost my rhythm of writing. I fell away. I fell into a period of spiritual silence.

How does one find their way out of a period of aridity and seclusion? How can we reconnect with our God and begin to listen for His voice again?

Prayer.

“Prayer is the very heart of the life of faith.” – Thomas Merton

For me, the act of writing is intimately bound up with my act of prayer. I pray before during and after writing. I relax and try to get my ego self out of the way. I try to silence that nagging and frightened part of me, the small part of me which is interested in what you think of me, of what you think of my words. Do you know that part of yourself? How often does it get in god's way? In your way?

Prayer allows me to silence that voice and listen for the voice of Christ who is my way, my truth, and my life. Prayer is both active and passive, it is both gift and reception.

“In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.” Mark 1:35

The most difficult part of prayer, the part which is at once total gift and total effortless preparation is the part of silence. I ask; then I wait on God. I offer myself and invite God in by clearing away all that which leaves no room for grace. I ask for resentment to be removed, I ask that I be forgiven, and that I have the courage to forgive. I breath deeply and express gratitude for the gifts of this life, and even for the difficult lessons I may learn through trials. Sometimes I do a little complaining and get things off my chest. But I engage. The Lord’s prayer is a great way to pray.

Sometimes I just have to get up and do it. Just like this blog entry. I had to write in order for it to be written. Simple.

In order to pray, I have to pray. Seems so simple, but sometimes it also seems so hard to just do! Instead of reading another book about prayer and meditation, I have to pray and meditate.

Try it. You may be surprised.

God is Dead. And we have killed Him.

When losing faith is a good thing.

Do you ever feel your faith slipping away? Maybe in the face of a disaster like the tsunami or Katrina. Or, you begin to doubt while watching a loved one suffer from a debilitating illness or a traumatic setback. Or while going through your own wilderness experience. Maybe you have a prayer which has gone unanswered for far too long.

I have had many periods in my life when I felt that I could just no longer believe in God. Divorce. Death. Disease. Disaster. One setback after another. Prayers that just were not answered the way I wanted them answered. Oh wait…

What was it that was slipping away? Was my faith in God dead? Philosophers have proclaimed the death of God and the result of that loss is a barren nihilism. After losing the concept of God, one loses the basis for Christian morality and the foundation for absolute values. Aye, there’s the rub!

I have found that in losing my faith I lose not my faith in God, but my faith in my concept of God.

This may seem to be splitting hairs, but it is very important distinction to help in understanding faith and religion and learning to live with our fellow human beings who may see things differently. God, if god is truly God, is ultimately mystery for us finite human beings. Our brains can only experience on a cognitive level, concepts and abstractions. Lets call them ideas. We have our ideas of God.

Now, many of these ideas are good. God is loving. God is forgiving. God is eternal. But they are not God in himself. God is ultimately beyond our conceptions of God. We may use analogy to speak of God and speak truly, but God remains a mystery of light and love. God calls us to enter into this mystery, to be loved by and to love God by loving one another. Our ideas of God, if our faith is truly a living thing, will continually grow and deepen as we enter more fully into the mystery and increase intimacy with God. And sometimes, it will seem that our very faith itself is crumbling under the press of a deeper reality.

Think of how the disciples must have felt on Holy Saturday. Their messiah had been crucified. The man who was promised by God to save Israel had been murdered by the ruling powers. He was gone! This certainly called into question their ideas and their faith. But then Sunday came and He was resurrected. Their faith entered into a whole new life.

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him." Then Peter and the other disciple set out and went toward the tomb. The two were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent down to look in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the cloth that had been on Jesus' head, not lying with the linen wrappings but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples returned to their homes. (John 20:1-10)

The beloved disciple saw, and at that moment, found belief in a new conception of Jesus, which was not yet understood. He made the transition from disaster to a new depth of faith. And then they returned to their homes, I imagine to return to scripture to work this stuff out.

So when it feels like we are losing faith, maybe it is a good thing. Maybe what we lose are our limiting conceptions and self-constructed ideas of God. If we can just hang on long enough to let go… Then we too can see, and believe.

Recognizing Miracles

Do you recognize Him?

I love stories of miracles. I believe that they are stories which do not suspend reality. They do not claim that God can break the “laws of science.” No, I believe that we have truly discovered many the laws of the behavior of creation. Order and unity was one of the gifts of God in the act of creation. God ordered it well and called it good. So it isn’t about breaking the rules, it is about following them more intensely. Science has systematically and very accurately in many cases been able to observe and describe the way the world works. But, there are instances which impartial scientific observation struggles to explain. Many have experienced these instances in their life. I have. They are miracles.

I have witnessed many miracles in my time: spontaneous remissions of fatal diseases, alcoholics relieved of the compulsion to drink, addicts relieved of their craving, fevers and sickness leaving almost instantaneously at the touch of a praying healer. I do not think that these are suspensions of the laws of the universe at all, but are an intensification of the ultimate principle of creation: God’s Word.

When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed. (Mark 6:53-56)

In the Torah, there is a command to Israel to create a fringe around their garment with four tassels to remind them of God’s commandments. These commandments were given by God in love. Obedience to them allows one to be fully human (created in God’s image) and to live life in the fullest. This fringe of the garment reminds the Israelites of God’s love for them. It is this recognition of God as love which brings an awareness of forgiveness and an invitation to healing.

It is our job as faithful human beings to remind one another of God’s love for us. We can do this by acting in love rather that reacting in fear. For me this is almost always difficult, because we live in a culture of fear. I have been taught to react. My work and my growth depends on my commitment to relearn responses of love. It is who I am as a human being created in God’s image to be an instrument of love. I have one great teacher for this, God’s Word incarnate: Jesus. The only problem is that he has died and is risen. How can I recognize him at work in my life?

The people of Gennesaret apparently had no trouble recognizing Him. He had just performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes and had been doing some particularly amazing things in the area. They were ready for a savior. The Son of Righteousness had risen and he had healing in his wings (see Malachi).

Do you recognize Him?

Faith and chaos

It is so hard to be faithful in the midst of chaos. Do you ever feel like you are being assaulted by an enemy? Maybe it is the phone company who won’t give you a day’s grace so you can cash your paycheck, before cutting off your service. Maybe it is traffic; every shortcut you take seems to pile you deeper into congestion and you catch every red light. Maybe it is the feeling of losing control and life just seems to be too much to handle. We have all been there like a cork bobbing on a chaotic sea, when life itself seems to hang in the balance.

When evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. When he saw that they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind, he came towards them early in the morning, walking on the sea. He intended to pass them by. But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out; for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Then he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened. (Matt 6:47-50)

In times like this I am more apt to curse than to bless. In biblical language, the sea is a symbol of chaos and evil. Israel had no Coast Guard to call, no radios on which to issue an SOS, no Navy helicopters to pluck the shipwrecked from the waves. The sea during a storm is a terrifying place. In this gospel, Christ is revealing himself as Lord over chaos. Even the great and chaotic sea, which at one time (Noah) had overwhelmed the world, cannot keep Him from accomplishing his purpose. But the disciples did not understand yet.

I am there with them often. When I am faced with my unmanageable life, and things which are beyond my control overwhelm me, I forget that I belong to the one who is lord over all of it. When my faith is placed in something finite, like my ability or the boat, I am afraid. If I remember that my faith is ultimately in the one who commands the sea and the storm, what have I to fear?

Where is your faith?

Still hungry after all these years...

I have a weakness I must confess. I am an information addict. If there are words visible, I feel a compulsion to read them. When I visit a friend’s home, my first instinct is to check out the bookshelf. I love to read and to learn. But how much time do I really spend reading the Word? As a percentage, it is rather minuscule. An hour a week? Less sometimes? How often do I sit and quietly listen as God calls to me in prayer? Certainly not enough. I am sure my life would be different if I gave God’s word as much effort as I gave my straight-up information addiction.

The time is surely coming, says the Lord GOD, when I will send a famine on the land; not a famine of bread, or a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD. They shall wander from sea to sea, and from north to east; they shall run to and fro, seeking the word of the LORD, but they shall not find it. (Amos 8:11-12)

We live in an atmosphere of sensory overload. Everywhere I turn I see advertisements, and screens flickering with attractive images designed to cultivate desire and the secret promise of satisfaction. But I live in a constant state of unsatisfied desire. No matter how much I earn and how much I buy, I am never filled. I eat, only to grow hungry again. I learn only to discover the depth of my ignorance.

Only God can satisfy me as the proper end of my desire. Only God’s love as revealed in Christ can save me from the unending cycle of desire and fulfillment and desire again. In the midst of all this noise, in the cacophony of our culture, my true desire is for the word of the Lord. It is as if there is a famine of it. Even the major religious institutions seem to turn away from the word and promote political agendas and social reform. While these may be legitimate activities, it is the gospel which is the heart of the Body of Christ. It is the gospel I hunger for, and it seems that in my wandering from sea to sea, from north to east; in my running to and fro, I am wont to find it. Has that time come?

We certainly are not experiencing a famine of bread. Nor a thirst for water. America is blessed with abundance never before seen. But how are we sharing that wealth? How are we caring for the poor? How are we living the gospel? A famine indeed.

Self-reliance and Self-hatred

Leaning on the Lord

Oh how much energy I put into the construction of castles for myself. I trust that my petty structures will provide protection for me in times of trouble. Often I fail utterly in my trusting God. I want to feel safe by taking control of my destiny and making things happen. I am not alone in this because the bookstores are stocked with false prophets peddling self help and life improvement books.

Not that there is anything wrong with learning how to operate effectively in the world. Learning to compete in business is necessary to live in our world and if we do it fairly and with integrity it may be blessed by God. There is nothing wrong with saving for a rainy day or planning for retirement, these too are necessary in the financial structures into which we have been born. But it is where we ultimately place our trust that matters.

Thus says the LORD: Cursed are those who trust in mere mortals and make mere flesh their strength, whose hearts turn away from the LORD. They shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when relief comes. They shall live in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. Blessed are those who trust in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves shall stay green; in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit. (Jer 17:5-8)

If our ultimate trust is in our self power rather than in our creator and redeemer, we cheat ourselves of love and we impoverish those around us. The result of self-dependence or dependence upon mortal flesh (vulnerable and limited, contingent humanity) is fear. Fear is a devouring lion which wreaks havoc upon our relationships and upon our ability to truly live in the freedom which Christ gives to us. Love drives out fear and so it is to love which we must turn and in which we place our ultimate trust.

When God shows up in the midst of our crisis, it is to love He calls us to return. When he withholds the rain, it is to the stream our roots must go. I understand roots and radical to be etymologically related and so I take this to mean He calls us to radical trust in him, even in the danger and disaster of the drought. In The Wound of Knowledge, Rowan Williams reflects on the idea of a God acting in crisis to call us to dependence upon Him, “Self-dependence is revealed as a mechanism of self-destruction; to cling to it in the face of God’s invitation to trust is a thinly veiled self-hatred.”

If our ultimate trust is in our self, this is the opposite of self-love, it is self-hatred in disguise. If we trust in God we are fully alive, if we ultimately trust ourselves, we are in the dance of death and drowning in the fear which is a symptom of the nascent loveless-ness the enemy calls us into.

Love of Self

Self-Love

What does it mean to have a healthy self-love?

The great commandment enjoins us to Love God with all our heart, all our soul and with all our strength (Deut 6:5; 10:12; 26:16; 30:2,6; Jos 22:5; Matt 22:37; Mar; 12:30; Luk. 10:27). When Jesus spoke these words, he was firmly in the tradition of what righteousness was in Israel. He added to it what had been taught in the wisdom traditions as a practical manner of existing with one’s neighbor. Love your neighbor as yourself.

What is this self-love that he speaks of? I suggest that it is a love which is proper in its orientation because it emerges from the first two commandments love of God and neighbor. It is not a selfish and jealous possessiveness. It is not a self-absorbed obsessive-ness. It is a love which gives of itself until there is nothing of itself left to give and keeps giving because it has its source in the eternal abundance of the Godhead.

We are created in the image of God. To truly know ourselves, we must know God. To know God, we must know Christ, since Christ is the great mediator between God and humanity. He is our Great High Priest (Heb 4:14).

The good news is that we have a high priest who is not a self-righteous monarch sitting upon a lofty throne and far-removed from our everyday existence. Christ entered into the humble life of a Galilean peasant who laughed and cried, was hungry and thirsty, got angry and frustrated. He even entered into the very dark place of abandonment by God that we all feel at some point or another. “My God my God; Why have you forsaken me?”

That is the kind of love Jesus was. The kind which is faithful until the end. Faithful even when those he trusted had run. Faithful even when His Father had abandoned him to the cross. Faithful unto the emptiness of death. With a view to the resurrection we know that this is the kind of love Jesus is.

If we want to love ourselves, we must love God. If we want to love God, we love His son the Christ, Jesus. Because in the light of that love, death doesn’t have the last word.

Shine on You Crazy Diamond

Shine on Crazy Diamond

When we burn in our brilliance like the stars of heaven, there is massive amount of fuel consumed. I know that I go through periods of creativity which are utterly exhilarating, but also draining in a deep way. I need to recharge. I do this by spending time in quiet reflection and in peaceful solitude.

Where does this fuel come from? Where do we find the energy to shine brightly? If we find this energy in ourselves, we run the risk of burning out. But if we understand that what we are doing is building up the kingdom of God and we rely on our heavenly Father for assistance, guidance, and support, we can do seemingly superhuman things.

Self-reliance is a tricky deception. We are taught elements of it as a means to survive in the world. It is the gospel according to Hollywood and the theme of the American Dream. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and go after what is yours.

May I never boast of anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. For neither circumcision nor uncircumcision is anything; but a new creation is everything! (Gal. 6:14-15)

A recognition that we are a new creation in Christ gives us the courage to reject the world’s message of self-reliance and individuality as the ultimate state. Not that individuality is bad, just the distorted view which places selfish desire at the heart of our purpose rather than the self-giving which is consistent with the divine image. When we are crucified with Christ, the world is crucified to us. The total reliance Jesus had on God to heal and to preach and to save is available to us. He gave us that by his work on the cross. He showed us the way to the Father through prayer and service. Our heavenly Father is waiting for us to return to him and will shower us with the gift of His own life.

So when we operate from a prideful self-reliance we are eating of that fruit in the garden which is the rejection of our humanity. We become like the arrogant and self-destructive rock stars who fall apart at the height of their fame and glory. When we seek to be God we block God’s action in us. We cut ourselves off from the source of good works which is our faith in God. But when we see ourselves in the light of Christ’s work on earth, we can begin to live from that source which is infinite and eternal. We are higher powered.

Humility: Part 2

Humility part two.

If Humility is an engagement with the truth, and we all are beggars at God’s table doesn’t that leave us as sniveling lumps of flesh quivering in fear?

Yuck.

There is a side of brilliance and glory to our humanity. There is something majestic about all of us. Each one of us is an individual creation which reflects the glory of God in a unique way. The catch to humility is to remain engaged with the truth of our brokenness and our glory- They both belong to God.

We come from God and are returning to God. All human creativity is God’s word spoken through us. There is an intimate relationship between human creativity and God’s working in the world. So celebrate your creativity! It is God’s gift to you. Glorify him by using it!

It does no service to hide away our gifts. It is not humility to say, “Oh no. I’m not very good at that.” If we are. That is false humility. That is a distortion of truth. Imagine if Michelangelo said I’m not so good, somebody else should paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Or Bach said, “Oh, the organ is not really my thing. I’m o.k. at it.”

Imagine if Jesus played down his healing power. Or Peter was falsely humble about his leadership. Or Paul about his preaching?

If you have been gifted by God. And we all have. Then live into those gifts. Do not be falsely humble, and do not be arrogant about them. Be real.

"You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot. "You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven. (Matt. 5:13-16)

Don’t hide your light out of fear and insecurity. Your gifts are God’s and God will be there to guide you in them. We can’t all be presidents or superstars, but we each have a role to play. Humility is living into that role honestly, with all our heart and all our mind and all our strength. Go on. Be brilliant.

Two Sides of Humility

Humility

I was going to write an entry on humility and about how humble I am, but there are not enough readers yet…

Just kidding. Humility is one seriously elusive virtue. What does it mean to be humble?

I think that there is a confusion between humility and humiliation. Though the latter may sometimes encourage the former, it is not necessarily so.

Let the believer who is lowly boast in being raised up, and the rich in being brought low, because the rich will disappear like a flower in the field. (James 1:9-10)

If you think of humility as sniveling and begging, perhaps there is truth in that. But it is not the whole truth. The best definition I have heard of humility is an honest engagement with the truth. It is understanding the truth of our own humanity and the truth of our imperfection. Even our skills and accomplishments, everything we’ve earned or achieved, all these will pass away.

The truth is, no matter how much earthly honor we have, no matter how blessed our lives appear, or how much it seems that God is smiling upon us, we all come to His table as beggars. God loves us all perfectly – even in our imperfection. In Christ, the perfect image of God in which we are all created has been restored.

The truth is we are all radically dependent upon the completely faithful God who gifts us with all the blessings we may, in turn, use to distinguish ourselves from one another. If you are an excellent administrator and salesperson and you have made a fortune in business, does that make you better in God’s eyes than the addict at the V.A. hospital who hasn’t recovered from war trauma? No. Does it make the president of the Episcopal Church Women or the gentle priest more valuable to God than the criminal or the beach-bum? No.

In fact it is easy to fall into the trap of associating our accomplishments (or our neighbor’s) or our possessions, including honor and respect, with our worth in God’s eyes. I do it. And the outcome of that nefarious activity is inevitably despair. Humility is the only cure. It is a grace which we must intentionally participate in.

The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will themselves will be exalted." (Luke 18:11-14)

Does this mean I run around begging for forgiveness non-stop? No. But this entry is getting long so tune in tomorrow for a look at the flip side of humility.

Next: the flip side.

Surfing and God

Surfing and God

I have been watching the new HBO show “John From Cincinnati” and I am not sure what to think. I should love it since it combines two of my favorite things, surfing and spirituality, but I haven’t made up my mind about it. It brings to mind a conundrum.

The suits have determined that spirituality is a profitable venture. I see this as a mixed blessing. first it is great that people have really begun to allow that there is more to life than what meets the eye and that the almighty scientific method leaves a few epistemological holes and simply cannot provide all the answers. I’m not knocking science, it just annoys me when folks take the same approach to science that radical extremists take to religion. Dogma is dogma.

On the other hand, there is a lot of nonsense out there. Spirituality is one of those topics that give the writer or guru free reign to lie and manipulate and basically say whatever they want to and back it up with calls to faith. I try to take a lightly scientific approach to faith. It works for me. Or, more accurately, I work for faith. I believe at least in part because of what I do.

I worship because it reminds me of who I am and whose I am. I sense the eternal in the rhythm and beauty of liturgy and I taste God’s grace when I participate in the Eucharist. It becomes real to me.

O come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and the dry land, which his hands have formed. O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker! (Psalm 95:1-6)

But my acts of worship are not confined to Church. Surfing on a big day fills me with a sense of awe at the sheer powerlessness of humankind. If you have ever been worked by a triple-overhead set then you have tasted powerlessness. You go over the falls with a empty feeling in your gut, like when a plane drops five hundred feet in few seconds during a storm, and you enter the darkness. In it you twist and tumble pining for air and the feeling of death squeezes you and the roar of the water fills your ears. It is a feeling of total surrender until the wave releases its grip and you float in silence. A quick tug on your leash tells you which way is up and you go for it. But the sense of victory felt when you burst into the sunlight and gulp air is usually brief; because the next wave rolls at you like a white locomotive with Casey Jones all jacked up and driving. You get some air and dive!

I believe in miracles. I am just wary of a television program that lumps faith with the paranormal. And I am a bit uncomfortable with the liberal use of Jesus Christ as an expletive and prophetic visions as plot devices. But, I think I will keep watching. It is a little less shallow than my other new vice Entourage. I think it might be a good thing that people can ask questions about faith and spirituality. Maybe the idea that I have the answer is my thorn in the flesh. Maybe asking the question is more important than having the answer. God is the answer, what was the question?

Damn HBO on demand is addictive. But I would rather be surfing.

A Moment of Gratitude

Gratitude.

I like to think of myself as a grateful person. I try to say thank you as much as I can. I am appreciative of the little things, a quiet moment on the street with perfect light diffused across the trees and the soft contrast between the green of the leaves and the red of the brick. I appreciate finding a parking spot “good for tomorrow,” which means I don’t have to move it right away for the street sweepers. Today I am grateful to live near Prospect Park, which is like Central Park without tourists and without the stress. I ran through there like I was in the country, over dirt trails and across lush meadows, in deep shade and bright sun. Nice.

But these things are easy to be grateful for. What about the fact that I could run at all. That I can afford to buy food to replenish my energy? Don’t I take this for granted? Damn. I do. Once in a while I recite an elegantly crafted prayed from the Episcopal Prayer Book which covers the fruit of the harvest yada, yada, yada… But How do I live out my gratitude for life itself?

“In the day of prosperity, adversity is forgotten, and in the day of adversity, prosperity is not remembered.” (Sirach 11:25)

Gratitude is a type of un-forgetting. I un-forget how well I have been taken care of by God. I un-forget all those small things which are invisible because they are so everyday. Breathing. I had some serious asthma-like symptoms that was deemed Reactive Airway Disease when I was in college. I was running with the “rabbits” (the highly fit athletes in our ROTC unit) after a night of carousing and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. It was like I was choking on my own throat, I was terrified. You can bet I was grateful for breathing when my throat opened back up! But it didn’t last long.

When I have it is hard to remember what it was like to go without, and when I am without, it is hard to remember what it was like to have. I suppose gratitude is a way to live mindfully and to look for blessings in the everyday.

You should see the light in the trees outside my window right now. The birds are singing the glory of this moment. I am breathing deeply and I have forgotten suffering for now.

Traveling light.

Traveling light.

I moved today and I am amazed at how much stuff I have. It brought to mind the utter difference between the faith of the disciples and my own faith. I am attached to my things in a way that interferes with God’s will in my life. I get attached to stuff in a strangely intimate way.

I drag a British officer’s campaign desk up and down the Eastern Seaboard because I imagine myself writing my first bestseller on it. I have a red Western shirt I got in the Barney’s warehouse sale that looks good on me man! I’m not giving that up. It means something to me, I will probably be wearing it when I meet the woman of my dreams. Right?

How much of my own self gets tied up in stuff? How much of me gets caught up in gunning for the corner office, upgrading to a West Village garden apartment, or flashing an I-Phone? How much is left over to dedicate to God’s will? How many times have you heard (or said) something like this, “I’d love to do mission work, but I gotta work two jobs to make the mortgage and pay down the plastic…”

Then Jesus called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal. He said to them, "Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money-- not even an extra tunic. Whatever house you enter, stay there, and leave from there. Wherever they do not welcome you, as you are leaving that town shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them." They departed and went through the villages, bringing the good news and curing diseases everywhere. (Luke 9:1-6)

It is challenging to be faithful in our culture of materialism and the currency based economy. Satisfaction comes not so much in our work, but in the purchasing of products. Buy! Buy! Buy! Feel good about yourself, buy American.

The faith that Jesus taught his followers was in many ways a radical departure from the co-opted faith of the religious leaders of his day. But it was at the same time so deeply true to the tradition as he understood it. It was radical faith. We don’t have the honor/shame system in place quite as strongly as the scholars tell us it was in Galilee 2000 years ago. But we do have our own system to push us to be good consumers and good workers.

How can we become part of that heavenly system which encourages us to be good believers and builders of the kingdom? How do we become the Body of Christ? It seems that faith in God which rejects the decadence of our consumer culture is once again an act of rebellion. Not the faith that tells us how to vote, and who to fight wars with (I mean come on who really falls for that crap?). I am talking of the faith which sends us out with nothing - to win everything - for a God we cannot see - but believe in with all we have.

Go out! Go in faith! Leave your stuff at home. Depend radically upon God and your neighbor. Bring healing and good news!

O.K. But can I keep the shirt?

What is Wisdom?

What is wisdom?

Knowledge tempered by love. I like that definition and I do not know where I got it, so I can’t give credit. How about experience softened by love? That works too. Perhaps both together work as an amorphous definition. Anyway I am feeling a bit wistful today because I am packing up my things and making a move. Forgive me for being sentimental.

It is very easy for me to use the past as a blunt instrument with which to punish myself. I look at mistakes I have made and curse myself for choosing one way; when, if I had the perspective gained from choosing that way, I would have chosen differently. I tried to make that sentence hard to read because it feeds on itself. There is an inherent paradox. I need to make the mistakes I make so I can learn the lessons I need to learn. I can’t re-choose the past, it is gone. I can only look at today and the choices in front of me now and ask God to choose with me.

Wisdom is God’s loving action in the world. It is my experience or my knowledge informed by God’s love. In Job we read:

Truly, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding. (Job 28:28)

The turn from my will to God’s will is to enter into Wisdom. Surrendering to a proper sense of awe and wonder at God’s glory is fear of the Lord. It demands a response. When that response falls short we are ensured of forgiveness.

So I can just ‘get over myself.’

Who am I to judge?

Here are some words to one of my favorite songs by Townes Van Zandt To Live is to Fly:

Days up and down they come

like rain on a conga drum.

Forget most, remember some,

but don’t turn none away.

Everything is not enough;

nothin’ is too much to bear.

Where you been is good and gone,

all you keep is the getting’ there.

There is some wisdom in that.

God Bless the crooked-walkers...

God Bless the crooked-walkers…

Why can’t people walk in a straight line? Is it so hard to walk straight? Little miss pretty in your clickity-clacks and your Prada bag, stop wandering all over the sidewalk like it is your own private catwalk! Hey tourists from Ohio, some of us have somewhere to go, could you stop looking up and get outta my way!!!

I realize just how blessed and how entitled I am when I associate my persecutors with people who happen to cross my path on the sidewalk. But this came to mind as I was reflecting on this passage attributed to Jesus in the famous Sermon on the Mount:

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.” (Matt. 5:44-45)

Pray for my enemy? Come on! I want to curse them and revel in how much I hate them! I mean, it feels good to judge someone and to feel superior to them. You are wrong and I am better than you! When somebody does me wrong, I love that feeling of power I get while I am feeling a little (or a lot) superior to them.

But if God blesses them with light and life, who am I to deny that? Does that mean I have to pray for them? I guess I could, but “God bless them” sounds a lot more like a curse than a blessing when I am in that mood.

Come on, don't criticize me! I am a well ordered pedestrian commuter. I know the rules of the road and I follow them. I walk in a straight line, I dodge little old ladies. I can bob and weave my way through a crowd of conventioneers just out of the subway. I step aside when someone faster closes in behind me and I let them by. Man, I am a righteous walker. I do the straight and narrow.

But God help me when those crooked walkers try to cramp my rhythm, and slow my stride. Unaware pedestrians are a serious hazard. Hey crooked walkers, you are corroding America! I don’t want to pray for them, I want to curse them. Man, there is some Cain in me.

Wait a minute, wasn’t Cain the unrighteous one?

Damn.

Hey crooked walkers, will you pray for me?

More on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is hard. I can’t do it on my own. As a matter of fact, the illusion that I can set myself free is powerful and our culture vigorously defends it. But as a Christian I know that only Christ can set me free from the burden of unforgiveness, because without God’s mercy, I have no hope of being merciful. So I must approach God with my need and prayer is how I do that.

Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:16).

How much energy and commerce center around our desire to be self-sufficient? Entire industries revolve around our desire for personal power. How many books are sold as having the solution, yet leaving the reader seeking more, looking for deeper answers? Even Christianity recognizes that God is bringing us into fulfillment, but it is ongoing. We look to the Resurrection as the first fruits of this process of divinization. We are being restored to the divine image and we play a role in this process as active participants in God’s grace and mercy in the world. We must become God’s mercy by inviting God to live and work in us by recognizing our need and by actually being merciful.

The self-seeking self may only be set free from the search by finding truth in Christ. Freedom is found in the truth of who we are and of who God is which is the Gospel message. In Christ we find in faith that we are understood in mercy by a God who is no longer a stranger to human want and misery, but a God who lived and died as one of us.

Thomas Merton points out in Love and Living that this discovery that we are “mercifully understood” gives us a spirit of mercy which allows us to understand others with mercy. Merton, a Trappist monk who wrote prolifically in the 50’s and 60’s, says, “The weakness and defenselessness in our hearts, which make us pitiless to others, are then dispelled not by power but by trust in the divine mercy, which is given us when we no longer seek to defend our defenselessness, and are ready to accept our own boundless need in a merciful exchange with others whose poverty is as great as our own!”

Chasing the illusion of self salvation only weds us to the illusion of power which is the sin of pride. By looking to God’s own life on earth and by looking to the message of the Gospel, which includes an act of forgiveness on the cross, we may glimpse what it means to be human. In this humility we might even find the grace to let go of our judgments and forgive. In an act of mercy we become radically vulnerable, because we recognize our own frailty and neediness as human beings and in this recognition we glimpse something of God’s glory.

So in order to forgive we must approach the throne so that God’s mercy may be lived in us. This is what I try to do:

1. Recognize and confess the need to forgive.

2. Ask God for the willingness to forgive.

3. Make the decision to forgive and release your claims on the person you are forgiving.

Sometimes the burden lifts immediately, sometimes it takes a while.

4. When you fall into the old patterns of judgment and resentment, remind yourself that you made a decision to forgive and ask God to take the feelings from you.

I say this, “God you handle these feelings toward “so and so” because I can’t”

It also helps to pray for the person I am trying to forgive.

5. Allow God’s mercy to fill your heart and turn your experience into wisdom.

You don’t have to forgive and forget.

*** Sometimes we have trauma and deep emotional pain which requires the guidance of a professional. This works wonders if used in concert with a faith practice. Ask your minister or priest or friends in your community if they have had good experience with mental health practitioners. Christ can work with professionals. Find someone who works for you. It is well worth it. ***

Forgiveness is Selfish

Forgiveness is Selfish

Wait a minute? How can forgiveness be selfish? Aren’t I releasing my claim on someone when I forgive them? Aren’t I the one who gives something up? Forgiveness is self-less. Right?

Wrong. Well, not really wrong, but not the whole picture either.

I recently had a rather powerful experience surrounding an ‘act’ of forgiveness. it really was a decision to forgive, spoken out loud in an atmosphere which was spiritually and emotionally charged. I was surrounded by men who would hold me accountable to this decision, so I don’t really have the luxury of waffling. But here is the kicker…this act had nothing to do with the person I chose to forgive. This decision was for me. I was the one carrying the burden of resentment. I was the one being ‘punished’ for the trespass.

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you.” (Matt. 6:14-15).

It has been said that carrying a resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. But like a drug, that poison can be addicting. Anger is an energy which gives the illusion of power. It is usually a dishonest emotion- it is a hiding place, a cover-up. Underneath anger is often sadness, hurt, or fear. In the moment of a transgression or injury anger provides us with the means to get out of the threatening situation by fighting or running. The real trouble, for me, starts when I hold onto the anger so that I can avoid those deeper feelings which I judge as weakness. I mean, who really likes to feel vulnerable?

The problem is that as time wears on and I return to the anger again and again to avoid those deeper feelings of hurt and sadness, I imprison myself in the past. Every moment I spend now, with the potential for joy and connection, is mortgaged to the anger and the hurt of the past. I cannot be fully present to anything in the present because so much of my life is tied up in the past. I begin to feel a loneliness and an anxiety which pollute every relationship and taint every possible moment of joy. Eventually, I invest so much emotional energy in maintaining the resentment that it seems that I am lost.

Forgiveness is the door to freedom. Forgiveness is the decision to let go of that claim on the trespasser. It seems like it is done for them, but it is our self which is set free. But there is a catch.

Forgiveness takes courage because it opens the door to those emotions which were held at bay by the anger. For me it opened the floodgates of sadness. I am not comfortable feeling sadness, and I hold it back with the energy of anger. I see sadness as a threat to my very identity, so it takes a lot of courage for me to feel my sadness. I have a lot of work to do. I am blessed with a group of men with whom I can do this work. If you desire the freedom and release of forgiveness, do yourself a favor. Find a loving community and/or a competent professional with whom to do the work.

There is of course a turn to my original statement about forgiveness being selfish. Once we make the courageous decision to forgive and face whatever emotional baggage we have been carrying, we become available to serve others. We become more able to love. The act of forgiveness helps to get the self out of the way so that we can live a more self-less life. When our emotional integrity returns our strength and power can be used for something more than reliving the past and holding our pain at bay. Our healing can become healing for others. In Christ we are a new creation- whole, loved and forgiven.

Everything happens for a reason? Come on!

“And all manner of thing shall be well.” --Julian of Norwich

If there is one quasi-religious spiritual slogan I despise, it is everything happens for a reason. “Nothing happens in God’s universe by accident.” Try telling someone who just lost a child to a drunk driver that everything happens for a reason. Try consoling a husband who lost both his wife and newborn child in delivery with “God has a plan.” If it were me, I may not be able to resist the impulse to punch you. I am sorry, but there is a beauty in randomness and there is also danger. Accidents happen, evil happens and there is no easy explanation. It cannot be dismissed with a platitude.

However, in the face of evil, in the face of darkness and tragedy we can find meaning. Perhaps (or likely) we will not find it, not immediately. Pain and grief are the natural response to tragic events. There is a radical vulnerability to being human and sadness is correlative to joy. As much as we may want the supposed comfort of invulnerability, to be invulnerable is to be alone. To love is to be in relationship.

There is a risky-ness and a cost to love. To love is to participate in God’s own life. It is a gift of Godself to us. There is cost to love that even God experienced. True love is a giving away of self which is so radical as to entail death. Jesus Christ showed us God’s willingness to love in the face of darkness and persecution and pain when he freely chose to die on Golgotha. God atoned humanity. God entered into human living and lauging, and suffering by living a human life. God and humanity are at-one-d . Jesus was and is God’s love incarnate- God’s love made flesh.

There is so much more to the Incarnation than anything that we could ever say about it. Honestly I am certain that I do not understand the crucifixion. It doesn’t make sense. Couldn’t God come up with a better way to expiate the sin of the human race? Is there a more peaceful way to show the depth of God’s love? It is mystery, in that I could never exhaust the meaning in it no matter how much I knew, or how much I said. I am left to love, to enter into that life. How utterly frightening!

In the 14^th century in Norwich lived a woman who entered into that life in a profound (mystical) way. She left behind one of the most subversive texts written in English, yet one which is utterly orthodox in its faith: a radical orthodoxy, if you will. She wrote Revelations of Divine Love or simply the Showings. She experienced visions of God so profound, she spent 20 years praying and reflecting on them. In one the Lord spoke to her and said, “And you will see yourself that every kind of thing will be well.” She goes on to say about this, “It is God’s will that we should know in general that all will be well., but it is not God’s will that we should know it now except as it applies to us for the present, and that is the teaching of Holy Church.”

So it all will be well in the end, but it is not all well now. And sometimes the reason for things appears to be entirely inadequate, unless we work with others to give it reason, to find meaning or perhaps assign meaning. Respond in a new way to the same old sad stories. I love the way T.S. Eliot wove this writing into his masterpiece poem Little Gidding, the fourth poem of Four Quartets. He ends it this way:

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

Through the unknown, unremembered gate

When the last of earth left to discover

Is that which was the beginning;

At the source of the longest river

The voice of the hidden waterfall

And the children in the apple-tree

Not known, because not looked for

But heard, half-heard, in the stillness

Between two waves of the sea.

Quick now, here, now, always—

A condition of complete simplicity

(Costing not less than everything)

And all shall be well and

All manner of thing shall be well

When the tongues of flame are in-folded

Into the crowned knot of fire

And the fire and the rose are one.

And that is good news…