Just Speaking My Truth - Oh Really?

"I’m Just Speaking my Truth."

I’m just speaking my truth. What does that even mean? Your truth? So… does that mean it is only true to you or are you actually in possession of truth? What do you even mean by “truth”?
Truth can be defined as “the true or actual state of matter.” My favorite definition is “actuality or actual existence”. What we are really getting down to here is something much more “real” than mere personal experience. Now when I say mere I’m not denigrating personal experience, it is all we have, in any real sense, to go by. That is how life is lived. Even our ideas and our theories are formed by personal experience. Quantum Physics, General relativity are abstractions of reality, descriptors limited by human experience. They are not truth in any real way: they describe truth.
If “your truth” is true only to you, why share it? Don’t you want to be understood? If one can understand your truth, doesn’t that make it true to others who are understanding? If another is capable if understanding it, it is no longer yours.
If you are somehow in possession of truth, that makes truth into an object. Truth is not an artifact. It is not a limited entity which an be passed around. If that is so it fails to be true, it merely participates in the metaphysical state of truth.
Truth is pre-existent, eternal, unchanging, not subject to personal whim or intellectual fashion. I cannot say “share my truth” and be accurate in any way. What anyone is saying, when they say that, is they are sharing their experience of truth, which may or may not reflect reality in any real way. It could be clouded by delusion: personal or societal. Or it could be a deeply insightful description of eternal truth. This is often referred to as Wisdom. Religions seek to describe this as God, or the Word of God, prophecy, Buddha nature, the great story, what have you. Problems arise when these descriptions become codified and warped by human ambition bent on being the sole possessor of truth and result in war and death over the details.
How many among us have been so certain of something, so positive that we knew the truth only to have our worldview shattered when some piece of information came to light we hadn’t seen before?
How many people heard somebody say, “Real estate prices can’t go down.”
How many have been devastated when our trust in someone is wrecked by news of infidelity or our faith shaken by the revealed hypocrisy of a spiritual leader? How would that change our version of “my truth”?
Truth is not relative. Experience of truth is by its very nature relative. If we imperfect human beings could loosen our grip on our experience of truth, maybe we could open ourselves to a deeper enfolding by what is most real, most true. Our world is flooded with delusion masquerading as truth. Self-interest and human ambition drive the demonic desire to be god and to be the arbiter of truth. It is a story as old as humanity itself. That’s what Adam and Eve feasted on in the garden. Knowledge of good and evil. They wanted to posses truth. And we fell.
We live in a world of constant flux. The human condition is such that our perception is limited, finite, defective, colored by the sum of our experiences, memories, beliefs and prejudices. Even this article is colored by the sum of my life thus far. I claim no special possession of truth. My only claim is that the truth cannot be possessed by any of us, we are simply blessed to be possessed by truth.
If we weren’t, we would simply cease to be.

Definition of truth According to Dictionary.com
Origin:
before 900; Middle English treuthe, Old English trēowth (cognatewith Old Norse tryggth faith). See true, -th1

And if that wasn't enough!

And if that video wasn't enough! Here is a letter the filmmaker sent to a prominent talk-show host:

About a year ago, our friend, 33 year old Santa Barbara firefighter, Tyler Gilliam was diagnosed with testicular cancer that had spread to his abdomen and chest. Since then, he's been through 4 massively invasive surgeries and spent over 80 days in the hospital.

His girlfriend Amber has supported and cared for him throughout the ordeal. A few months back, he proposed and they're now engaged. In January, they entered a contest to win a Southern California Dream Wedding. Out of over 600 applicants, their story was chosen for the top 10.

It was then up to a public to vote for the couple they felt should win their dream wedding. On February 11th, Tyler went in for his 4th surgery. The following day, the voting closed and Tyler and Amber had nearly twice as many votes as the second place couple. Thousands more.

They were ecstatic. Finally, something good was happening for them. This wedding was the momentum shift they needed.

Then, on Valentine's Day, while Tyler recovered in the hospital, the contest announced they had chosen the second place couple to receive their dream wedding. It seemed the rule was that the winners would be chosen by the sponsors from the top three vote getters.

It was devastating to them. At first, I was outraged at this contest. And then I thought, everything happens for a reason. And the reason is, they deserve something much, much better. I'm on a mission to see that they get the true wedding of their dreams.

To give you an idea of how much Tyler means to this community, please see this short documentary of four fellow firefighters who ran 94 miles over three days to surprise Tyler at his hospital room while he was going through chemotherapy.

Is there anything you can do to help us give them the wedding they deserve?

Thank you so much for doing what you do!

Jason

Running to Tyler

A friend of mine made this video which documents an oddessy made by four Santa Barbera firefighters to see their brother in a cancer ward at UCLA. Without any training and inspired by Dean Karnazas, they decided on a whim and without any training to run the 94 miles. This is a deeply moving display of brotherhood and love - better grab a tissue.

Running to Tyler from jgagne33@gmail.com on Vimeo.

It reminds me of this story of the friends who lower a paralyzed man through the roof to get him to Jesus. It was this loving act by the friends which prompts Jesus to proclaim the man's sins forgiven and allow God's healing to take place.
Mark 2:1-12
2When he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. 2So many gathered around that there was no longer room for them, not even in front of the door; and he was speaking the word to them. 3Then some people came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. 4And when they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay. 5When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

Is it our prayer or the love manifest in our act of prayer that manifests God's healing energy in our lives? I like to think of faith as not just what we believe, but also and more deeply, what we do because we believe. It was the faith of the friends, shown in thier action that brought the healing forgiveness to the paralytic. And you could see in the tears of these tough firefighters that that the love they show for one another- by running 95 miles over 3 days toughing out pain, blisters, sprains and exhaustion- brings healing.

WOW!

Check out this new play-

It explores the notion of sin and identity.
When a priest is exiled to a South Florida sober house, he is forced to share a room with a desperate man fleeing his past and struggles to reconcile his faith, his doubt, and ultimately, his own demons...

Turmoil and Truth

Life in New York City feels a bit precarious these days. News reports of financial turmoil, job losses, and bank failures hit home here. It is said every job on Wall Street creates three jobs in the city. These are scary times.

What is at risk?

This week’s lectionary reading contains what I like to call the dogshit epistle. “I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ…” The Greek word here can be translated as dogshit.

Our financial system and our American way of life is a blessing. It is a wondrous way of living which allows for great freedom and a flourishing of the human spirit. But it is temporary. It is passing. The American dream, which seems so real today, is slightly different from that same dream in the 80’s or the 60’s or the 40’s. We have changed demographically, socially, religiously. As a people, we want different things, the culture changes. It is passing.

3:8 More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 3:9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God based on faith. Philippians 3:4b-14


In times like this it is apparent to me to hold fast to that which is good. I would lose my head (I though I did a few times already), if I didn’t have eternal truth to which I might hold fast.
A friend of mine said a few months back when we were talking of finance and mergers and the passing nature of what seems so real, “I can’t believe I have outlived Chemical Bank.” The illusion of security that banks create and maintain can lull us into thinking that they will be around forever. The truth is as soon as the market loses faith in a bank, the myth is exposed and it crumbles.

Much of the crisis right now is due to a loss of faith. Banks won’t trade short term debt obligations with each other for fear of default and the financial markets cannot operate. The banks and the companies which trade with them cannot fund their operations. The system is broken down. No faith.

I want to believe in something eternal. Something not subject to the whims of “the market”.

Where is your faith?

Oh yeah... And no matter how bad it gets, there is always that bit about resurrection.


http://divinity.library.vanderbilt.edu/lectionary/APentecost/AProper22.htm

Everyday Mystics

Everyday Mystics

What is it about human being that propels us to reach out? What is it that drives our impulse to create? To explore? To discover? What is at the heart of the phenomenon of desire?
Isn’t there a fundamental desire for happiness? For joy? Something in us propels us to love, to hope, to dream. Many theologians speak of this as the experience of grace.

Grace is God’s self-communication to each of us. In some of us, we experience this in terms of a religious framework -we have all seen the athletes thanking Jesus for touchdowns. But simply an alcoholic grateful for a day of sobriety, a mother holding her child, lovers caught up in the bliss of affection; all of these can either be experienced within a religious framework as a willed gift of the personal God or simply experienced as a hint, a taste of something beyond ourselves.

Whenever we experience hope, love, or trust we are experiencing something gifted to us, something which propels us out of ourselves into the shared experience with the other. In these human experiences, we find our world opened up to something greater than our limited selves. We are experiencing grace. When we recognize that God is at the heart of all human experience, we can recognize the other as ultimate mystery.

Often we read of mystics and think of saints levitating, or Yogis surviving under water for ridiculous amounts of time. These may or may not be mystical events, but surely whenever any human being experiences something of God –faith, hope, love, mercy- we are having a mystical experience. Religious practice gives us a frame of reference, but is not required for our opening ourselves to God.

Karl Rahner ( Roman Catholic Systematic Theologian) said that whenever we say something of god, we say something of human being; and whenever we say something about human being, we say something about god. Human being is a mystery of love which opens in our hearts to the mystery which is God.

We are all everyday mystics.

Surprised by Prayer

This morning I found myself sitting in the Chantry Chapel at St. Thomas 5th Avenue. I felt compelled to go there, to sit in the quiet majesty of that beautiful space and to pray. It has been a while since I have done anything like that. I feel as if God has broken my heart. But there I was, on my knees praying the Our Father. I then sat in silence and asked for God to bless the things which are dearest to me - my family, my friends, my art, my health, the health of my unborn niece, the health of my good friend’s father. I asked God to bless my work.

I spent time petitioning for the continued blessing of the joy and connection I feel with a most magnificent woman. I believe in love again. And that is a good place to be.

I gave thanks, and then I read a little bit of Paul, got a little bit mad and left for my new job.

Well, it’s a start…